Random stuff

Scott has been in Detroit since Monday and I am beginning to unravel. Caleb has been a bit hard to handle the last couple days, plus he didn't sleep well, therefore I didn't sleep well. At one point he was awake and yelling for me because one of his socks had come off. Sheesh! I am going to need a little time to myself once Scott gets home on Thursday.

The discussions started earlier this week about when to start trying for kid #2. We have agreed from the beginning the two is a good number but the added daycare costs are going to kill us. But with our get out of debt plan in full swing we should be able to soon free up about half of what we will need ($500) but that won't be for another year. Where the other $500 is going to come from I have no idea. I am torn right down the middle about wanting another child. On one hand I want another child, but at the same time I really like the fact that Caleb doesn't need constant attention and is becoming more independent. I am finally able to get a few things done around the house without holding a kid in the other arm. I am already exhausted every night, how much more tired am I going to be if there is another person to do everything for?

I feel badly whenever I have the thought go through my head that Scott doesn't help out around the house. The truth is he does help, but usually only with what I tell him to do. I end up feeling like his mother at the same time as Caleb's. No, that isn't fair to him, but when I am looking at the disaster that my house has become and then look at Scott sitting at the computer surfing for Jeep parts we can't afford, I can't help but think that isn't fair to me either. Why should I be the one who has to clean up all the messes? I don't MAKE all the messes, do I?

But I can't expect things to change if we have another child. As a matter of fact, I can only expect them to get worse. Caleb is already insanely jealous whenever I hold another baby. I can't imagine what he will be like when and if we have a baby of our own. He is almost 3 and we may have already waited too long to give him a little brother or sister. WAY too long if you ask any of the 7000 people who seem to ask us weekly when kid #2 is coming along. At this point I think it is illegal in the state of Wisconsin to only have one child. Two is the norm, maybe even three. Heck, even 6 to 8 isn't unheard of. But only ONE!?!?! Why would we even consider such a thing?

Well, I am going to think on this a little more and head to the bank. Then I will be picking Caleb up and heading home to a nasty mess and dinner that I have to make. At least I have it all planned and I just have to put it together. Never got around to starting the dishwasher this morning so I will have that to deal with as well. What a great night this is going to be.