October Sucked

I know....I know....once again I am here explaining why I haven't posted in a really long time. At least this time I have a pretty good excuse. On September 18, I had a positive pregnancy test and we were really beyond excited. I scheduled our first OB visit with a new doctor and we went about picking out baby names and telling our family. Our first Dr appointment was on October 5th, when I was just 7 weeks along. The appointment went great, until the very end when they did an ultrasound. The doctor said that things were not as developed as she would suspect, but told us not to panic and added another blood test. That afternoon she called to tell us that the pregnancy was not viable and that we should expect a miscarriage at any time. I was devastated to say the least.

For the next week, I waited for something to happen and it never did. I was a weeping puddle of mush most of the time, but I couldn't seem to get past it or move forward in the grieving process because I was technically still pregnant. So, I called an scheduled a D&C for the morning of the 16th. Mom was kind enough to come down and spend some time with me and drive me home. I took that day and the next day off to be alone, but then I had to go back to my life as usual. At least once it was over, I was able to "move on". Whatever that means.

I still have episodes of sudden tears and a sense of loss, but they are getting further apart. It has been hard because not many people know I was going through this, so they couldn't understand why I was acting so strangely.

Added to that is the fact that after 33 years, my parents are being put out of business by a rogue IRS agent who has decided that he doesn't like my father. This has been super stressful for both my parents and I have been worried about both of them.

But some good things did happen in October. Caleb was an adorable pumpkin for Halloween and I won $40 at bunco. Scott shot a doe with his bow, which means that we have more meat in the freezer and now he has earned the right to try for a buck during gun season. We got to see some old friends when they came to town for the MTU vs UW hockey game last weekend; that was a lot of fun, but I think I am still recovering from all the cleaning I had to do beforehand. :)

We got the news last night that Caleb is being moved up a level for his swim classes! He is finally getting comfortable with the water and we are happy that he is coming along well. Of course, he still has problems with putting his face in the water and with listening to the teacher, but at least he is making progress.

Hopefully next time I will have some happier things to talk about. I am currently making a bunch of crochet items for charity and for gifts so I will try to take pictures of them as I get them done so I can post them on here. At least I am being productive now that it is too cold outside to do anything productive.