.....but I think this is the safest place. I am 34 and I am apparently going thru a mid-life crisis. I am surrounded by people, most of them under 4 feet tall, yet I feel totally and completely alone.
I just got back from watching Eat, Pray, Love and I am more scared now than ever. I am afraid that if I tried to "find" myself like the main character from the film, I wouldn't find anyone worth knowing. All that is in me is some boring house wife who has nothing better to talk about than toddler eating habits and dirty diapers. I have turned into some one that I don't recognize or understand.
Is therapy the answer or another cliche? How can talking about something that I can't verbalize make me feel better? I can't even hold a thought in my head long enough to understand it much less be able to communicate it to anyone, even my husband. Dear sweet husband. He has no idea what I am feeling and wouldn't get it if he did.
I am lost.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
The good and the bad news
I got completely blindsided on Friday.....the company I have worked for for 7 years decided I didn't need to work there anymore and laid me off. Of course that is just semantics at this point because the informed me that it is definitely a permanent arrangement and that I should plan on moving my 401k ASAP. Did NOT see this one coming......I was a total mess the whole weekend but I have settled into a kind of gloom that comes and goes. They gave me a whopping 2 weeks severance that will help for a little while but it is still a very scary position to be in. The blow to my ego hurts the most. I thought I was valuable for my knowledge and experience but apparently I was really wrong.
The good news that kind of complicates everything is that I recently found out I am pregnant again. Still very early on, but it makes the prospect of finding another job rather interesting. If it takes too long it is going to be a bit obvious, but at this point I am not even sure that we can afford for me to be off for very long. The bright side is that we are mostly out of debt so there aren't too many problems with having to make payments. The cars are paid for, the furniture is paid for, so the only thing we have to pay for are utilities, mortgage and food. With some mighty belt tightening we will be OK, but it is going to take a lot of getting used to.
The good news that kind of complicates everything is that I recently found out I am pregnant again. Still very early on, but it makes the prospect of finding another job rather interesting. If it takes too long it is going to be a bit obvious, but at this point I am not even sure that we can afford for me to be off for very long. The bright side is that we are mostly out of debt so there aren't too many problems with having to make payments. The cars are paid for, the furniture is paid for, so the only thing we have to pay for are utilities, mortgage and food. With some mighty belt tightening we will be OK, but it is going to take a lot of getting used to.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Free lunch!
One of the most valuable things I have learned is never pass up a free lunch. So today I got one from Chipotle! Our office has ordered from the new restaurant to often since they opened for team lunches that they gave everyone who was willing to go over there and give them a business card a free burrito! Yeah! I LOVE their food, and now I don't need to eat dinner either. Four hours later and I am still full. Although....the heartburn I am experiencing right now is not all that comfortable....never had that happen before after eating the food there, but I don't know what else could be coming back at me.....
Dog sitting and other stories from our weekend
We bought a new bed. I am still shaking a little from the "unnecessary" cost, but it sure will be nice once we are sleeping on it. We upgraded to the king size from the queen size we have had for our entire marriage. We currently have a Select Comfort and have really not had any problems with it, it is just too small. For some reason it isn't just the two of us we need room for, but also a dog and a kid and maybe another kid in the future. The dog takes up enough room for two small children so that leaves Scott and I with exactly 4" each on our respective sides of the bed. We COULD put the dog in the crate, but she is a great snuggler and a really pitiful whiner. She can manage to pout so loudly without making a sound....deep sighs, bumps and digging in her crate, more heavy sighs....followed by a forlorn flop....it isn't pretty. And if you can resist her big amber eyes you are a stronger person than I am. Just pitiful I tell you!
So anyway, we bought a new king size Select Comfort (for $5 million...or so it feels) so now that means that we have to get a new bed frame/headboard/foot board. The mattress will be here in a week so we have to scramble to have the new bed here by then. Last night was Busy Monday, so that left tonight as the only option....and now I have to go to a meeting in Lodi. Should be short, but it means I won't be home until at least 8:00. Hope I can swing by Slumberland for a few minutes and see what they have before they close so we can get things rolling.
Scott worked all day on Saturday, while Caleb and I managed to do some grocery shopping. I sorted a few things out in the basement for the upcoming rummage sale and attempted to find my kitchen counters again. Saturday night, Scott and I managed to go on a "date" which was the first time we have been out alone together since August. Time sure flies.... We went to Flat Top Grill, then wanted to go bowling but all the lanes were taken so we ended up at a movie. We saw "Fool's Gold" which we both found very entertaining and then went home and collapsed. It was a very nice evening; it was nice to be able to look at each other and not talk about scheduling and Caleb for a little while. Although, it was tough to come up with anything else to talk about.
Our friends who were watching Caleb also left their dog for us to puppy sit while they returned to Michigan to sign off on the sale of their house. Cole (the puppy) is definitely a challenge! I am SOOOOOOO glad they are coming to pick him up soon. He is only 5 months old, but he is bigger than Ruby and just won't leave her alone. He keeps biting at her ears and feet, both of which she is really sensitive about, so she has been hiding under the table for two days. We have resorted to just keeping them separated the majority of the time, which makes things extra interesting. Cole can't be left alone for a second because he walks away with anything that is at nose level.....balls, papers, sweaters, slippers, socks, mittens, pens, crayons, stuffed toys, a hair brush...the list is endless. I even caught him with stuff he must have gotten off the kitchen counter; fun! I know he is just a puppy, but it makes me REALLY glad that we are past that stage, both with Ruby AND with Caleb. They listen equally well and can both follow simple commands. Life is good!
Sunday was kind of a waste (besides the buying the bed thing) although the weather was actually kind of nice for the first time in weeks. It was in the mid 30°s and the sun felt very warm. Didn't even need a coat when we went outside so that was a pleasant change. Had a few friends over for dinner Sunday night and then watched something recorded on the DVR. Not very exciting, but not very relaxing either. Didn't get nearly as much time to crochet as I wanted....in fact I didn't get anything done at all. *sigh* And now with the meeting tonight, bunco tomorrow and swimming lessons on Thursday and Scott's family here this weekend I doubt I will be getting anything done in the near future either. Can some one please invent the 26 hour day so I can get more stuff done? Please?
So anyway, we bought a new king size Select Comfort (for $5 million...or so it feels) so now that means that we have to get a new bed frame/headboard/foot board. The mattress will be here in a week so we have to scramble to have the new bed here by then. Last night was Busy Monday, so that left tonight as the only option....and now I have to go to a meeting in Lodi. Should be short, but it means I won't be home until at least 8:00. Hope I can swing by Slumberland for a few minutes and see what they have before they close so we can get things rolling.
Scott worked all day on Saturday, while Caleb and I managed to do some grocery shopping. I sorted a few things out in the basement for the upcoming rummage sale and attempted to find my kitchen counters again. Saturday night, Scott and I managed to go on a "date" which was the first time we have been out alone together since August. Time sure flies.... We went to Flat Top Grill, then wanted to go bowling but all the lanes were taken so we ended up at a movie. We saw "Fool's Gold" which we both found very entertaining and then went home and collapsed. It was a very nice evening; it was nice to be able to look at each other and not talk about scheduling and Caleb for a little while. Although, it was tough to come up with anything else to talk about.
Our friends who were watching Caleb also left their dog for us to puppy sit while they returned to Michigan to sign off on the sale of their house. Cole (the puppy) is definitely a challenge! I am SOOOOOOO glad they are coming to pick him up soon. He is only 5 months old, but he is bigger than Ruby and just won't leave her alone. He keeps biting at her ears and feet, both of which she is really sensitive about, so she has been hiding under the table for two days. We have resorted to just keeping them separated the majority of the time, which makes things extra interesting. Cole can't be left alone for a second because he walks away with anything that is at nose level.....balls, papers, sweaters, slippers, socks, mittens, pens, crayons, stuffed toys, a hair brush...the list is endless. I even caught him with stuff he must have gotten off the kitchen counter; fun! I know he is just a puppy, but it makes me REALLY glad that we are past that stage, both with Ruby AND with Caleb. They listen equally well and can both follow simple commands. Life is good!
Sunday was kind of a waste (besides the buying the bed thing) although the weather was actually kind of nice for the first time in weeks. It was in the mid 30°s and the sun felt very warm. Didn't even need a coat when we went outside so that was a pleasant change. Had a few friends over for dinner Sunday night and then watched something recorded on the DVR. Not very exciting, but not very relaxing either. Didn't get nearly as much time to crochet as I wanted....in fact I didn't get anything done at all. *sigh* And now with the meeting tonight, bunco tomorrow and swimming lessons on Thursday and Scott's family here this weekend I doubt I will be getting anything done in the near future either. Can some one please invent the 26 hour day so I can get more stuff done? Please?
Friday, February 22, 2008
Crochet: Swap Items galore!
I am shipping my package out to my swap partner for the kitchen swap this afternoon. This was my first swap and it sure was a bunch of fun! Of course, I never seem to have problems coming up with kitchen things to crochet; there are just so many great options out there!The first picture is of a pot holder that I made out of size 3 crochet thread. Never used thread before but I am really happy with the way this turned out. I have a ton of it left so I think I am going to have to make another one for me to have. Of course, if I ever manage to make another one I will be a little amazed!
The next picture shows the scrubby and dish cloth set I made out of a really neat variegated yarn from Lily Sugar'n Cream. Very pretty! Did a quick roll stitch around the edge to give the
dish cloth a little definition and that worked out really well.I also included a watermelon shaped pot holder and matching dish cloth, a bright green/white variegated dish cloth and matching scrubby, a nylon/cotton scrubber and an adorable little tea pot and tea bag set that I found at Joann's. Very cute and very fun! I just hope she likes everything that I am sending.....haven't been able to get to know her very well because there appears to be a problem with either her email receiving or my email sending. Gotta love modern technology, right?
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Where does all the time go?
This week has just evaporated. I got hit with a deadline yesterday that had my head spinning, and now I am having problems figuring out which side of my life is up. Very strange feeling...like being anxious and bored all at the same time. I don't know what to do next, but I feel like I should hurry up and do SOMETHING already.
Last night I just crashed where I sat. I was asleep before Caleb, but then of course, I kept waking up in the middle of the night so that by the time morning rolled around I still didn't feel all that rested. Caffeine just isn't doing the job this morning and I am really struggling to keep from laying my head down on my desk and taking a nap.
Caleb has his swimming class tonight so that means another meal at Noodles & Co. I love the food, but it is getting a little bit old after eating there at least once a week for a year. His friend Amelia is going to be there as usual and she is so sweet, in a Tasmanian devil kind of way. She can wear me out just watching her! But she has the sweetest smile and the happiest attitude that you can imagine. I think even Caleb wonders why she is running around all the time!
For the first time in months, Scott and I are planning a date for Saturday night. Our schedule's have been so crazy lately that we have done little more than pass each other in the hallway. We seem to be living separate living all of a sudden and need a little time to re-connect. Maybe even TALK to each other....novel concept, huh? Don't know WHAT we are going to do yet, but hopefully it will involve eating some place that is NOT kid friendly and then watching a movie that isn't animated. That is if we can manage to stay awake long enough to actually make it to the movie.
The other exciting thing that is on tap for this weekend is.....wait for it.....wait for it....CLEANING OUT THE BASEMENT! Whoo! Doesn't that sound exciting? It has been neglected for WAY too long and is going to involve posting a bunch of items on Craigs List and making another pile for a garage sale. And HOPEFULLY it will also involve some space planning for the laundry area and bathroom. I would really like to put in some kind of slope sink where we can dump dirty mop water and clean paint brushes....right now it all seems to happen in the kitchen sink and that just doesn't seem sanitary some how.
And we are also going to be puppy sitting for a friend's dog this weekend. It could be a challenge since our backyard is drifted 4' deep with snow, but hopefully the two dogs will play and manage to not destroy our house. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one!
Last night I just crashed where I sat. I was asleep before Caleb, but then of course, I kept waking up in the middle of the night so that by the time morning rolled around I still didn't feel all that rested. Caffeine just isn't doing the job this morning and I am really struggling to keep from laying my head down on my desk and taking a nap.
Caleb has his swimming class tonight so that means another meal at Noodles & Co. I love the food, but it is getting a little bit old after eating there at least once a week for a year. His friend Amelia is going to be there as usual and she is so sweet, in a Tasmanian devil kind of way. She can wear me out just watching her! But she has the sweetest smile and the happiest attitude that you can imagine. I think even Caleb wonders why she is running around all the time!
For the first time in months, Scott and I are planning a date for Saturday night. Our schedule's have been so crazy lately that we have done little more than pass each other in the hallway. We seem to be living separate living all of a sudden and need a little time to re-connect. Maybe even TALK to each other....novel concept, huh? Don't know WHAT we are going to do yet, but hopefully it will involve eating some place that is NOT kid friendly and then watching a movie that isn't animated. That is if we can manage to stay awake long enough to actually make it to the movie.
The other exciting thing that is on tap for this weekend is.....wait for it.....wait for it....CLEANING OUT THE BASEMENT! Whoo! Doesn't that sound exciting? It has been neglected for WAY too long and is going to involve posting a bunch of items on Craigs List and making another pile for a garage sale. And HOPEFULLY it will also involve some space planning for the laundry area and bathroom. I would really like to put in some kind of slope sink where we can dump dirty mop water and clean paint brushes....right now it all seems to happen in the kitchen sink and that just doesn't seem sanitary some how.
And we are also going to be puppy sitting for a friend's dog this weekend. It could be a challenge since our backyard is drifted 4' deep with snow, but hopefully the two dogs will play and manage to not destroy our house. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Crochet: Knit Out & Crochet 2008
I got to spend the weekend in Minneapolis with 3 friends attending the Knit Out & Crochet 2008 event at the Mall of America. It was fun and I really enjoyed the company, but I definitely don't need to go back next year. The lines were SUPER long and the reward was pretty minimal. And did I mention how much I detest shopping and shopping malls? Which means that the Mall of America was not all that exciting for me.
We stayed at the Ramada Inn, which was a lot nicer place than I had originally imagined. Yes, it was old and dated looking, but it was definitely clean and that is worth more to me than fancy lights and fountains. There seemed to be a LOT of kids running around and I got the impression that they may have been there as part of some kind of sports tournament, but it was quiet, thank god!
As for the event itself, we got there really early, but most of the booths weren't open yet and by the time we found a locker and were ready to make a second lap, the line was HUGE. And of course we got in line right ahead of a lady who would not stop talking and/or complaining the whole time we were standing there. I was looking forward to free yarns and other stuff, but was disappointed in the things that were actually handed out. I got two skeins of novelty yarn that I will never use and will probably send off to a friend, as well as many patterns that were from FREE tear off sheets. And most of those were knitting! I did get a free H hook (already have 3) and a Q hook (I do have one of these but Caleb keeps taking it) so that was at least a bonus. The demos looked really fun, but they maybe had 20 seats set up at each station and there were 55,000 people expected for the weekend. Huh? Didn't get to spend anytime there!
The place where we spent the most time was in the Warm Up America booth, but it was not a very welcoming place. There didn't seem to be a real "leader" who was showing people what to do and where they could sit and that didn't help keep things organized. I grabbed some sections and yarn and managed to assemble 2 full strips, but was never invited to the "table" or even smiled at until I was almost done. And from my POV, there were many people who came into the area looking interested, but were never felt "welcomed" by the people already there so they didn't stick around. Now I see in a couple of places that they were upset more people didn't stay to help assemble....I wonder why.....
We stayed at the Ramada Inn, which was a lot nicer place than I had originally imagined. Yes, it was old and dated looking, but it was definitely clean and that is worth more to me than fancy lights and fountains. There seemed to be a LOT of kids running around and I got the impression that they may have been there as part of some kind of sports tournament, but it was quiet, thank god!
As for the event itself, we got there really early, but most of the booths weren't open yet and by the time we found a locker and were ready to make a second lap, the line was HUGE. And of course we got in line right ahead of a lady who would not stop talking and/or complaining the whole time we were standing there. I was looking forward to free yarns and other stuff, but was disappointed in the things that were actually handed out. I got two skeins of novelty yarn that I will never use and will probably send off to a friend, as well as many patterns that were from FREE tear off sheets. And most of those were knitting! I did get a free H hook (already have 3) and a Q hook (I do have one of these but Caleb keeps taking it) so that was at least a bonus. The demos looked really fun, but they maybe had 20 seats set up at each station and there were 55,000 people expected for the weekend. Huh? Didn't get to spend anytime there!
The place where we spent the most time was in the Warm Up America booth, but it was not a very welcoming place. There didn't seem to be a real "leader" who was showing people what to do and where they could sit and that didn't help keep things organized. I grabbed some sections and yarn and managed to assemble 2 full strips, but was never invited to the "table" or even smiled at until I was almost done. And from my POV, there were many people who came into the area looking interested, but were never felt "welcomed" by the people already there so they didn't stick around. Now I see in a couple of places that they were upset more people didn't stay to help assemble....I wonder why.....
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Crochet: Daisy Square and Helmet Liner
These next two items are things that I made for separate charity projects. I have yet to send them IN to the charities, but they are DONE. Who has time to go to the post office? Apparently, I don't. :(
My favorite is the Daisy Square from KrochetKrystal.
The pattern is free, she just asks that you make one and send it to her so that she can use it to make afghans for charity. It is a lot of fun to make and is really quite striking. You use both colors at the same time so it can get a little confusing, but once you get the hang of it they fly right along. I have gotten pretty attached to these two squares so I think I am going to the keep them for a blanket and make a different combination to send to Krystal. I have a bit of rainbow ombre left from Caleb's blanket that would look neat.
The next charity item I made was a "helmetliner" which is really a fancy name for a ski mask for soldiers to wear. These need to be all wool for many reasons so I had to buy some wool since my stash consists mostly of acrylic.
Managed to find it on sale at JoAnn's and made this one up, which Scott was gracious enough to model for me. It went quickly, but I don't think I used a big enough hook. Will try using a bigger one next time and hopefully that will keep it from being too tight. I will still send in the one that I made because I am sure not everyone in the military who wears a helmet is a big burly man with a big head. At least I hope....
Some day I will get these things in the mail to the right people. Until then, I will keep them rolled up in my project bag!
My favorite is the Daisy Square from KrochetKrystal.
The pattern is free, she just asks that you make one and send it to her so that she can use it to make afghans for charity. It is a lot of fun to make and is really quite striking. You use both colors at the same time so it can get a little confusing, but once you get the hang of it they fly right along. I have gotten pretty attached to these two squares so I think I am going to the keep them for a blanket and make a different combination to send to Krystal. I have a bit of rainbow ombre left from Caleb's blanket that would look neat.The next charity item I made was a "helmetliner" which is really a fancy name for a ski mask for soldiers to wear. These need to be all wool for many reasons so I had to buy some wool since my stash consists mostly of acrylic.
Managed to find it on sale at JoAnn's and made this one up, which Scott was gracious enough to model for me. It went quickly, but I don't think I used a big enough hook. Will try using a bigger one next time and hopefully that will keep it from being too tight. I will still send in the one that I made because I am sure not everyone in the military who wears a helmet is a big burly man with a big head. At least I hope....Some day I will get these things in the mail to the right people. Until then, I will keep them rolled up in my project bag!
Crochet: Ripple and Carrot
I know it has been forever since I updated, but I covered that in yesterday's post. As for today, I hope to get a bunch of photos posted so you can see what I have been up to for the last 2 months crochet wise.
This is the ripple blanket that I finished for Caleb. He loves it and it is the first thing he asks to cuddle up with on the couch when we get home from daycare. I am very glad that he likes it because I am in love with the pattern. I will be making many more like this, especially one for my brother. His birthday isn't until October, but it is already rolling around in my head. More manly colors are definitely a must though, if I have any hopes of him ever using it.
The finished carrot! Actually, the SECOND finished carrot. The first one disappeared off my desk. I have NO idea what happened to it, and am very sad about losing it, but making the replacement wasn't a big deal. Made a coordinating dishcloth and sponge and gave to MIL for Christmas. It was a big hit with everyone I showed it to and I think I am going to make one for myself. Can never have too many bagholders!
Will post more later, but blogger is starting to wear me out. My brain doesn't want to think like this!
This is the ripple blanket that I finished for Caleb. He loves it and it is the first thing he asks to cuddle up with on the couch when we get home from daycare. I am very glad that he likes it because I am in love with the pattern. I will be making many more like this, especially one for my brother. His birthday isn't until October, but it is already rolling around in my head. More manly colors are definitely a must though, if I have any hopes of him ever using it.
The finished carrot! Actually, the SECOND finished carrot. The first one disappeared off my desk. I have NO idea what happened to it, and am very sad about losing it, but making the replacement wasn't a big deal. Made a coordinating dishcloth and sponge and gave to MIL for Christmas. It was a big hit with everyone I showed it to and I think I am going to make one for myself. Can never have too many bagholders!Will post more later, but blogger is starting to wear me out. My brain doesn't want to think like this!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
New Years resolution....or not
OK, so my New Years resolution to myself was to blog more.....as you can see by the fact that there were no posts in January, I failed miserably. What was holding me back was my last post in December. I tried started, stopped, edited and finally gave up for a while. It was just a really painful wound that I needed to let close a little before I could go on. But, now I am back and here in force! I hope.
Since I linked this blog to my Ravelry notebook/profile, I know there are many more potential people who might be reading this blog....Welcome! Up until now I have been writing to myself. But after a year, I just got my first comment. Wooohoooo! I am on a roll now, Baby!
I had thought about posting my crochet items on a separate blog, but since I have a hard enough time keeping up with this one I don't think that is a good idea. So, I am simply going to continue tagging the crochet specific posts and let the rest of you find them. Good luck!
Since I linked this blog to my Ravelry notebook/profile, I know there are many more potential people who might be reading this blog....Welcome! Up until now I have been writing to myself. But after a year, I just got my first comment. Wooohoooo! I am on a roll now, Baby!
I had thought about posting my crochet items on a separate blog, but since I have a hard enough time keeping up with this one I don't think that is a good idea. So, I am simply going to continue tagging the crochet specific posts and let the rest of you find them. Good luck!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Good Bye, Uncle Bill
Yesterday was a really hard day. Last Saturday I got a call from my mom saying that my Uncle Bill had passed away. It was very unexpected as he was in great health and only 66, but he died in his sleep and my aunt was unable to revive him. He was my father's older brother by 11 years and had 2 kids and 4 grandkids that will miss him terribly. The funeral was yesterday and the church was full of all the people he had touched over the years.
Uncle Bill was my closest uncle on my Dad's side of the family, since he was also my godfather. I was baptized in the catholic faith, but was raised methodist and that never bothered Uncle Bill one bit. He still took his "job" very seriously and liked to spoil me rotten. I looked forward to his presents the most on birthdays and Christmas because he always managed to know exactly what I wanted, even if I didn't.
Because of family tensions (a really LOOOOONG story that I don't even know completely) we never had much communication with my Dad's brothers and sisters. I only knew Uncle Bill and my Aunt Carol out of the 7 siblings. Uncle Bill has two daughters, neither of which I ever spent much time with. They were older by a few years and I am really sorry that I haven't gotten to know them. Now they both live on opposite ends of the country and I have a feeling I won't ever get much of a chance to develop a relationship.
I think the hardest part of the funeral was putting myself in everyone else's shoes. I have a bad habit of empathizing too deeply with people and I then over react to the situation. Even now I am sitting here with tears running down my face because I just can't help but feel bad for the children who no longer have a grandfather and his wife who no longer has her husband.
Caleb was having a really hard time understanding why we were there and what was going on. Definitely some really big concepts for a 3 YO to handle. He kept asking who the man was and why he was laying there. The only thing I could tell him was that Uncle Bill was sleeping and that Bumpa had to say goodbye to him. He then asked all the way home when we could play with Uncle Bill and why Bumpa was so sad....pretty profound for a boy who had never met his great uncle, and now he never will.
Uncle Bill was my closest uncle on my Dad's side of the family, since he was also my godfather. I was baptized in the catholic faith, but was raised methodist and that never bothered Uncle Bill one bit. He still took his "job" very seriously and liked to spoil me rotten. I looked forward to his presents the most on birthdays and Christmas because he always managed to know exactly what I wanted, even if I didn't.
Because of family tensions (a really LOOOOONG story that I don't even know completely) we never had much communication with my Dad's brothers and sisters. I only knew Uncle Bill and my Aunt Carol out of the 7 siblings. Uncle Bill has two daughters, neither of which I ever spent much time with. They were older by a few years and I am really sorry that I haven't gotten to know them. Now they both live on opposite ends of the country and I have a feeling I won't ever get much of a chance to develop a relationship.
I think the hardest part of the funeral was putting myself in everyone else's shoes. I have a bad habit of empathizing too deeply with people and I then over react to the situation. Even now I am sitting here with tears running down my face because I just can't help but feel bad for the children who no longer have a grandfather and his wife who no longer has her husband.
Caleb was having a really hard time understanding why we were there and what was going on. Definitely some really big concepts for a 3 YO to handle. He kept asking who the man was and why he was laying there. The only thing I could tell him was that Uncle Bill was sleeping and that Bumpa had to say goodbye to him. He then asked all the way home when we could play with Uncle Bill and why Bumpa was so sad....pretty profound for a boy who had never met his great uncle, and now he never will.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Crochet: finished the bunny hat and MACG meeting
This is a picture of Caleb wearing the bunny hat and mittens that I just finished for a friend of mine at work. Well, actually for her new baby, but you probably figured that part out. It was really easy to make and took me about two nights to get it completely finished. Very quick, painless and adorable.I also managed to finish the first of many swiffer shrugs that I want to make for Christmas gifts. LOVE the pattern! It was a lot of fun to do and very easy once I got the hang of it. Took it with me to the MACG (Madison Area Crochet Guild) meeting and it was definitely a big hit. I like the idea that it is environmentally friendly and I think it will actually work BETTER than the ones I buy in the store because it will pick UP the dirt and not just push it around.
I didn't do a whole lot else this weekend, crochet wise, but I did attend the latest MACG meeting at Lakeside Fibers here in Madison. I really look forward to getting together with these ladies and just having a little spontaneous conversation about anything and everything while we all get a chance to crochet. These ladies understand the addiction and don't think less of me for it.
Did manage to work on Caleb's blanket a little more and started on the carrot bagholder, but then realized that I needed an elastic hair band to go any further so had to stop. I think I did the first 6 rounds wrong anyway, so I will frog it and try again. Not a big deal, just gets me back to square one. Now all I have to do is locate me "I" hook....I think a certain 3 YO who shall remain nameless has walked away with it again, which means I may NEVER find it.
I did find a really neat pattern for a crocheted sponge this morning that I am going to make instead of some of the dish clothes I had planned. Sponges, swiffer shrugs, dish cloths and potholders will all make good gifts, I just don't know if I should "theme" them or not. I think I will try, just to make them a little more personal.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Why me? (AKA The animal rescuer)
As I was leaving for work this morning (already late as usual) I noticed there was a dog running around in our backyard. Now, as any of you who may have been to our house know, our backyard is roughly the size of an office cubicle so there was no chance I wasn't going to spot him. He looked like a young chocolate lab and he had tags, so I went out with a couple of dog biscuits to try and see if I could figure out what where he belonged. I felt really sorry for him because he had icicles on his chin, so he had obviously been out for quite a while. He turned out to be a really nice puppy and I decided that I needed to bring him inside to get a closer look at the tags.
I cordoned off the living room and dining area so that he wouldn't try to run upstairs and put Caleb on top of the table, just in case. After a few more biscuits I was able to get his collar off of him and take a look at the tags. The address and phone number were from Plainfield, IL! There goes my chances of this being a quick phone call to some one else in the neighborhood. Now, my only choice was to call animal control....but I only got an answering machine. Then I called the humane society and they said some one would be out to get him, but not until after 9:00. I wasn't about to let him go again so that I could go to work, so I was kind of stuck until some one came to get him. Grrrrr....
At about the same time I was being told that I would be there a while, the dog started scratching and rubbing and my brain immediately thought "FLEAS!" I knew I had to do something other than letting this dog have free run of my house, so I put him in our small bathroom, took Ruby out of her crate, put the gate up in the hallway to keep her upstairs, wrestled her crate downstairs, pulled out her bedding and coaxed the poor puppy in there. He went in reluctantly but easily enough. Of course, he didn't like being in there so I gave him some treats and eventually and bone stuffed with cream cheese to try and keep him busy.
The very nice animal control lady came by at around 9:30 to get him and said that they would find his family. I sincerely hope so because he was really a very nice dog who needs a family to play with.
Want to hear something odd? Last year at this same time (right before Thanksgiving) I had to call animal control because I found a very scared and loving kitty under my back steps. How weird is that? Is my house some how the magnet for stray or lost animals in the neighborhood?
I cordoned off the living room and dining area so that he wouldn't try to run upstairs and put Caleb on top of the table, just in case. After a few more biscuits I was able to get his collar off of him and take a look at the tags. The address and phone number were from Plainfield, IL! There goes my chances of this being a quick phone call to some one else in the neighborhood. Now, my only choice was to call animal control....but I only got an answering machine. Then I called the humane society and they said some one would be out to get him, but not until after 9:00. I wasn't about to let him go again so that I could go to work, so I was kind of stuck until some one came to get him. Grrrrr....
At about the same time I was being told that I would be there a while, the dog started scratching and rubbing and my brain immediately thought "FLEAS!" I knew I had to do something other than letting this dog have free run of my house, so I put him in our small bathroom, took Ruby out of her crate, put the gate up in the hallway to keep her upstairs, wrestled her crate downstairs, pulled out her bedding and coaxed the poor puppy in there. He went in reluctantly but easily enough. Of course, he didn't like being in there so I gave him some treats and eventually and bone stuffed with cream cheese to try and keep him busy.
The very nice animal control lady came by at around 9:30 to get him and said that they would find his family. I sincerely hope so because he was really a very nice dog who needs a family to play with.
Want to hear something odd? Last year at this same time (right before Thanksgiving) I had to call animal control because I found a very scared and loving kitty under my back steps. How weird is that? Is my house some how the magnet for stray or lost animals in the neighborhood?
Thursday, November 29, 2007
New furnace, new glasses, and a bit of "yarn"
The new furnace is in and working like a charm. My boss thinks we got taken on the deal, but I am just glad it is over with and I can sleep at night again. Since we already paid for it there isn't much we can do about it anyway. There was some lingering smell from the epoxy PVC glue and some oil that had to burn off, but otherwise there isn't a noticeable difference.
Also, I finally got a chance to stop and pick up my new glasses since my meeting in Sauk got out a little early and there was no point in going back to the office. No prescription change but since the old ones were basically worn out, I decided it was time to spring for new frames. Since I am so freaking blind I have to pay big bucks to get thin and light lenses, but it is worth every penny. Got the kind with the magnetic clip-on sunglasses again and this time they aren't that horrible amber color. Yeah! Sometimes it is the little things in life, right?
Typical Wednesday nutty-ness last night with swimming lessons and Noodles and bedtime and everything. I did manage to find some time to check out the yarn sections at both JoAnn and Michael's though. :) Didn't do too much damage, but did pick up some new patterns and the yarn I needed to finish up the bunny hat and mittens I am working on. The baby shower is next week so I am hoping to get it done by then. Will have to put Caleb's blanket on hold for a little while so that I can get going on all these Christmas gifts that I keep adding. Don't know exactly who all of them are for, but I figured I would get a bunch done and then sort it out later. I have several dish clothes made and I know the Swiffer shrugs won't take too long. Want to make a plastic bag holder that looks like a carrot (very cute!) as a gift too.
Speaking of Christmas, I have NO idea when I am going to get my shopping done. Jay may be coming down this weekend but I will spend time showing him what Caleb and Mom want rather than doing my own shopping. Grrrrr.... We will be putting up the Christmas lights on the outside of the house on Saturday so at least we are getting started on the Christmas spirit. Have to get the tree decorated yet, but may work on that tonight during the Packer game. We are lucky enough to have the NFL network (thanks, DirecTV!) so we can watch it at home unlike MANY other people in the state.
Also, I finally got a chance to stop and pick up my new glasses since my meeting in Sauk got out a little early and there was no point in going back to the office. No prescription change but since the old ones were basically worn out, I decided it was time to spring for new frames. Since I am so freaking blind I have to pay big bucks to get thin and light lenses, but it is worth every penny. Got the kind with the magnetic clip-on sunglasses again and this time they aren't that horrible amber color. Yeah! Sometimes it is the little things in life, right?
Typical Wednesday nutty-ness last night with swimming lessons and Noodles and bedtime and everything. I did manage to find some time to check out the yarn sections at both JoAnn and Michael's though. :) Didn't do too much damage, but did pick up some new patterns and the yarn I needed to finish up the bunny hat and mittens I am working on. The baby shower is next week so I am hoping to get it done by then. Will have to put Caleb's blanket on hold for a little while so that I can get going on all these Christmas gifts that I keep adding. Don't know exactly who all of them are for, but I figured I would get a bunch done and then sort it out later. I have several dish clothes made and I know the Swiffer shrugs won't take too long. Want to make a plastic bag holder that looks like a carrot (very cute!) as a gift too.
Speaking of Christmas, I have NO idea when I am going to get my shopping done. Jay may be coming down this weekend but I will spend time showing him what Caleb and Mom want rather than doing my own shopping. Grrrrr.... We will be putting up the Christmas lights on the outside of the house on Saturday so at least we are getting started on the Christmas spirit. Have to get the tree decorated yet, but may work on that tonight during the Packer game. We are lucky enough to have the NFL network (thanks, DirecTV!) so we can watch it at home unlike MANY other people in the state.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Merry f*ing Christmas.....aka the new furnace
That's right folks, we need a new furnace. The old one was only 6 years old but was apparently defective and has developed a cracked heat exchanger. Doesn't affect the operation of the unit, but carbon monoxide could be leaking out of that hairline crack....NOT GOOD! Good thing we have a CO detector, but YIKES! We wouldn't even have known about it if the igniter hadn't broken and left us without heat for 3 days. When the repair guy came he checked the heat exchanger because apparently this has happened on almost ALL of the furnaces of this model. Sure enough, he found a crack and refused to turn our heat back on unless we had the CO detector. Scary....very, very scary! Thankfully there was never any CO detected but just having the high potential was enough to keep me from sleeping well at night.
So what is the solution to this problem? Why...a new furnace of course! GREAT! This is the BEST time of the year to just drop $1400 on a new furnace. Thankfully, we have the money in our emergency fund, but it is going to wipe out a good chunk of the savings. I HATE doing that, but why else do we save the money, right? They call it a rainy day fund and it is definitely raining....or rather snowing because we don't have any heat....
The new furnace is the highest efficiency unit that we can put in so we will have to see if it has any affect on our heating bills this winter. We can get a tax credit AND save on the heating bills, so all the better. It is being installed this afternoon and I can't wait for it just to be IN so I can sleep a little better. They must have known how important and dangerous our situation is because Scott called on Monday to schedule it and they will be here today (Wednesday) putting it in. Wow!
So what is the solution to this problem? Why...a new furnace of course! GREAT! This is the BEST time of the year to just drop $1400 on a new furnace. Thankfully, we have the money in our emergency fund, but it is going to wipe out a good chunk of the savings. I HATE doing that, but why else do we save the money, right? They call it a rainy day fund and it is definitely raining....or rather snowing because we don't have any heat....
The new furnace is the highest efficiency unit that we can put in so we will have to see if it has any affect on our heating bills this winter. We can get a tax credit AND save on the heating bills, so all the better. It is being installed this afternoon and I can't wait for it just to be IN so I can sleep a little better. They must have known how important and dangerous our situation is because Scott called on Monday to schedule it and they will be here today (Wednesday) putting it in. Wow!
Crochet: more progress...sort of
Why is it that whenever I finish a project I have to start another one immediately? The worst part is they usually aren't even part of my WIPs but a new project that I just found in some magazine. For example, I was just able to cross the dreaded hooded scarf off my list, but then figured I had a few minutes so I would whip up an adorable baby hat and mittens that I found in the latest Crochet! magazine. Don't get me wrong, they are ADORABLE, but I really didn't need another project. Yes, I am using up stash yarn....but I have a TON of other gifts to get done. OK, who am I kidding; I am an addict and there was no way I was going to resist doing this cut little bunny hat. Even if I had to make Caleb where it, it was going to be made! I will post pictures of it as soon as I get it done, which will most likely be tomorrow evening.
Ravelry has proven to be extremely addicting. I love the fact that I can keep a list of all the projects that I want to do. I am sure there are great things that I have wanted to do, but have lost the print out or forgot what book they were in. Now I can look at all the other great things people have done and with one click add the same project to my queue. Then I can add notes as to what type of yarn I want to use and who I want to make it for. Fabulous! I spent quite a while adding pictures off a lot of my finished projects, and two of them have actually been chosen to be the picture used to represent that pattern on the site! I know that it is probably because it is the first time that pattern was added (with a picture) but it still feels very validating. My family just doesn't always understand the addiction that crochet has become for me. I LOVE to create these things for the people in my life, but I don't think they can always appreciate the work that goes in to them.
One of the things that is continuously on my to-do list are items to do for charity, but they seem to get pushed to the bottom of the list whenever I find something else to do for some one in my life. I am going to make it my goal this January to try to use up some of my yarn stash (even though it isn't all THAT big) to make items for charities. I will try very hard to just use the yarn I have and not worry about all of the colors matching or coordinating. There is a certain kind of "visual interest" in all those different colors blending and contrasting....but it goes against all of my OCD-ishness. Like my father always says, "if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well"....actually he always said "don't do anything half-assed", but you get the picture. :)
Ravelry has proven to be extremely addicting. I love the fact that I can keep a list of all the projects that I want to do. I am sure there are great things that I have wanted to do, but have lost the print out or forgot what book they were in. Now I can look at all the other great things people have done and with one click add the same project to my queue. Then I can add notes as to what type of yarn I want to use and who I want to make it for. Fabulous! I spent quite a while adding pictures off a lot of my finished projects, and two of them have actually been chosen to be the picture used to represent that pattern on the site! I know that it is probably because it is the first time that pattern was added (with a picture) but it still feels very validating. My family just doesn't always understand the addiction that crochet has become for me. I LOVE to create these things for the people in my life, but I don't think they can always appreciate the work that goes in to them.
One of the things that is continuously on my to-do list are items to do for charity, but they seem to get pushed to the bottom of the list whenever I find something else to do for some one in my life. I am going to make it my goal this January to try to use up some of my yarn stash (even though it isn't all THAT big) to make items for charities. I will try very hard to just use the yarn I have and not worry about all of the colors matching or coordinating. There is a certain kind of "visual interest" in all those different colors blending and contrasting....but it goes against all of my OCD-ishness. Like my father always says, "if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well"....actually he always said "don't do anything half-assed", but you get the picture. :)
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tis the Season
The good news is that Thanksgiving and all related craziness is over. The bad news is that Christmas is right around the corner. December is the one month each year that I love and dread all at the same time. I love it because there are so many wonderful memories associated with the Christmas season, but I hate it because I feel like I am being pulled in 12 thousand directions. My life is already crazy with work and taking care of a toddler, then add gift shopping, meal planning, grocery shopping, present wrapping, party going and house cleaning to it and I want to run away and hide.
This Christmas should be a little more fun than those in the recent past though, because Caleb is starting to realize a little of the magic of the season. He doesn't completely get it yet and trying to get him to understand that putting the tree in our living room doesn't mean Christmas is tomorrow has been a challenge, but he is getting there.
We went yesterday and picked out our Christmas tree at a choose and cut place near Waupaca. Very nice place that we hadn't been before and the tree cost up $45. Considering we paid more than double that a few years ago, it is worth a little bit of extra gas to get it while we are up in Waupaca for Thanksgiving anyway. That is the advantage of living so close to the Christmas Tree capital of the world. We got a 7.5 foot tall Fraser Fir and it looks great in the living room. Will try to get it decorated this evening, but I am not going to hold my breath. We are also going to be shopping for the lights to put on the OUTSIDE of the house, which means that we will probably be eating dinner out or getting take-out AGAIN. We have tried to put lights on the outside of the house the last couple of years but by the time we finally get around to it, neither of us thinks it is worth the effort. Caleb is adamant that we have lights outside this year, though, so I think it will really happen.
This Christmas should be a little more fun than those in the recent past though, because Caleb is starting to realize a little of the magic of the season. He doesn't completely get it yet and trying to get him to understand that putting the tree in our living room doesn't mean Christmas is tomorrow has been a challenge, but he is getting there.
We went yesterday and picked out our Christmas tree at a choose and cut place near Waupaca. Very nice place that we hadn't been before and the tree cost up $45. Considering we paid more than double that a few years ago, it is worth a little bit of extra gas to get it while we are up in Waupaca for Thanksgiving anyway. That is the advantage of living so close to the Christmas Tree capital of the world. We got a 7.5 foot tall Fraser Fir and it looks great in the living room. Will try to get it decorated this evening, but I am not going to hold my breath. We are also going to be shopping for the lights to put on the OUTSIDE of the house, which means that we will probably be eating dinner out or getting take-out AGAIN. We have tried to put lights on the outside of the house the last couple of years but by the time we finally get around to it, neither of us thinks it is worth the effort. Caleb is adamant that we have lights outside this year, though, so I think it will really happen.
On Ravelry!
I have been waiting for over a month for my invite to join Ravelry, a new knit and crochet community on the web. Currently it is only in the Beta stage so they were only accepting people a little at a time. I have spent the last few minutes looking around, but I know I will be spending a LOT more time working on my stuff on the site. Great place to keep info on projects, hooks, yarn stash, etc. Can't wait to meet all the neat people there either!
On another note, I got lots done this weekend, crochet wise. I FINALLY finished Mom's Christmas gift, but I am not going to post a picture on here yet because I don't want her to see it! IT turned out much better than I thought it would while I was working on it. All the fighting I did with it was definitely worth it. I also got LOTS done on Caleb's blanket, which is now about half done. It is bright and cheery and I hope he really gets some good use out of it.
I had intended to get even more than that done, but my thoughts of a relaxing weekend where there was lots of time to crochet was a figment of my imagination. Oh well...maybe next year.
On another note, I got lots done this weekend, crochet wise. I FINALLY finished Mom's Christmas gift, but I am not going to post a picture on here yet because I don't want her to see it! IT turned out much better than I thought it would while I was working on it. All the fighting I did with it was definitely worth it. I also got LOTS done on Caleb's blanket, which is now about half done. It is bright and cheery and I hope he really gets some good use out of it.
I had intended to get even more than that done, but my thoughts of a relaxing weekend where there was lots of time to crochet was a figment of my imagination. Oh well...maybe next year.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Mighty hunter weekend
Yes, that time of year has come again. OPENING DAY! For deer hunting that is. Tomorrow morning, before first light, hundreds of thousands of manly men dressed in bright orange will go out into the woods and shut them some deer. All of the men in my life are extremely excited. Even the littlest one. We haven't quit figured out how to tell the 3 year old that he is too little to go out in all the woods with all the other guys, but since they will be long gone before he is awake I think it will work out OK.
Mom, Caleb and I will be spending a lot of time inside or out on the Gator. I am hoping to make a bunch more progress on my crochet projects since Nana will be there to entertain and play with the little guy. We have a birthday party to go to tomorrow afternoon, which should be nice but more than likely will be very tiring (for me, not Caleb). Will try to get mom to come along so that maybe we can hang out in Appleton and have dinner. Planning things in the afternoon are always tricky, especially since Caleb isn't all that great at taking "mobile naps" any more. Will have to just play it by ear and hope for the best.
Mom, Caleb and I will be spending a lot of time inside or out on the Gator. I am hoping to make a bunch more progress on my crochet projects since Nana will be there to entertain and play with the little guy. We have a birthday party to go to tomorrow afternoon, which should be nice but more than likely will be very tiring (for me, not Caleb). Will try to get mom to come along so that maybe we can hang out in Appleton and have dinner. Planning things in the afternoon are always tricky, especially since Caleb isn't all that great at taking "mobile naps" any more. Will have to just play it by ear and hope for the best.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday Craziness
Last night was the usual Wednesday craziness. Scott had bowling (4 PM to 6:30 PM), Caleb had swimming lessons (6:45 PM) and I had bunco (7 PM). Luckily, we were all able to get where we needed to go, but we were running around a lot.
I got home from bunco at about 9:30 in my usual GREAT mood. It is so freaking stressful dealing with these women! I am seriously thinking about resigning and becoming a hermit. I know they are supposed to be my friends, but I don't feel like I fit in with them anymore. Most of them are SAHM's whose kids all go to the same schools. And those that do work can only talk about how they would LOVE to stay home with their kids. They are constantly talking about carpools and teachers and field trips and test scores. Two of the women had their infants there and that just made me feel uncomfortable...I acknowledge that is all in MY head, but it just compounds the fact that I don't want to be there anymore. The NEXT bunco is supposed to be in 3 weeks and it is the annual Christmas party with gift exchange. I am definitely NOT going to that this year....last year it took almost 2 hours to decide HOW we were going to do the gift exchange. I do NOT need that stress in my life right now. And of course the "Supermom's" were there again last night. I spent the entire night avoiding them and I think I did pretty well, since I didn't sit by them the whole night. I know it is totally middle school behavior on my part, but I am sick of being judged by them. More accurately, I am sick of comparing myself to them and coming up short.
Mom and Dad are going through more hell with the business, and Mom is not doing well with it at all. I am really worried about her. Dad APPEARS to be doing OK, but that is because that is what he WANTS us to see. Yeah, learned a lot of ways to deal honestly with me emotions from that guy. I can't say much, but the IRS agent who has been harassing my Dad is at is again. Dad was just going to give in and retire, but Dad's lawyer is afraid that even if Dad doesn't sign any more returns ever again, this guy is just going to start digging into client's past returns and start assessing him penalties based on those returns. The lawyer wants Dad to "fight the good fight", but I don't know if either of them will survive the stress. Even after watching them go through 31 tax seasons, I have never seen them this stressed. At least with tax season there is an end in sight....get past April 15 and you can coast for a few months. This crap could go on for years and years.
Another epic blog post. Either I have a lot to say or I don't know how to shut up once I start.
I got home from bunco at about 9:30 in my usual GREAT mood. It is so freaking stressful dealing with these women! I am seriously thinking about resigning and becoming a hermit. I know they are supposed to be my friends, but I don't feel like I fit in with them anymore. Most of them are SAHM's whose kids all go to the same schools. And those that do work can only talk about how they would LOVE to stay home with their kids. They are constantly talking about carpools and teachers and field trips and test scores. Two of the women had their infants there and that just made me feel uncomfortable...I acknowledge that is all in MY head, but it just compounds the fact that I don't want to be there anymore. The NEXT bunco is supposed to be in 3 weeks and it is the annual Christmas party with gift exchange. I am definitely NOT going to that this year....last year it took almost 2 hours to decide HOW we were going to do the gift exchange. I do NOT need that stress in my life right now. And of course the "Supermom's" were there again last night. I spent the entire night avoiding them and I think I did pretty well, since I didn't sit by them the whole night. I know it is totally middle school behavior on my part, but I am sick of being judged by them. More accurately, I am sick of comparing myself to them and coming up short.
Mom and Dad are going through more hell with the business, and Mom is not doing well with it at all. I am really worried about her. Dad APPEARS to be doing OK, but that is because that is what he WANTS us to see. Yeah, learned a lot of ways to deal honestly with me emotions from that guy. I can't say much, but the IRS agent who has been harassing my Dad is at is again. Dad was just going to give in and retire, but Dad's lawyer is afraid that even if Dad doesn't sign any more returns ever again, this guy is just going to start digging into client's past returns and start assessing him penalties based on those returns. The lawyer wants Dad to "fight the good fight", but I don't know if either of them will survive the stress. Even after watching them go through 31 tax seasons, I have never seen them this stressed. At least with tax season there is an end in sight....get past April 15 and you can coast for a few months. This crap could go on for years and years.
Another epic blog post. Either I have a lot to say or I don't know how to shut up once I start.
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